a great big fiery mistake.

what am i supposed to say to that?

i really have no idea.

that was kinda hurtful.

also, why do you have to be soo annoying.

is there any way i can get out?

because this is ridiculous.

i'm going to have to bite the bullet.

and get in line with the one person i don't want to get in line with.

why are so many kids finding my hide out?

that is annoying.

where are you?

oh, i remember now.

frank sinatra is on the speakers.

the fireplace isn't on.

and i'm freezing.

i've got a plethora of work.

but am not doing any of it.

i can't even spell that.

don't come into my room again.

with those kind of assertions.

don't expect to commandeer my television again.

or be let in for that matter.

you are not welcome.

by any means.

i don't want you around me.

why do you have to disappoint?

just when i think your doing better.

can't i at least believe that you are.

i wish i were in the texas sun.

soaking up the rays.

on my white pale skin.

are you spanish?

uh...no i am not from spain.

what did you really want to hear there?

i don't think you know.

i must drop some of this.

it's getting all too heavy.

i want to go out.

and play with kites.

and run around.

and have fun on the river.

but there's no one outdoorsy enough to want to do the same.

i try to get you to spend 5 minutes outside and you complain.

it's like when you won't hold my hand.

how rude.

it's the least you could do.

okay, the girls next to me are idiots.

seriously.

how did you get into this school?

for that matter, how did i?

trinity love?

ut love?

i don't know if i would have.

probably not.

for a little while at least.

but this is a lot of hate.

towards one place.

and a lot of people.

i better get to reading.

"you're still a super hot female"

uh...yeah. thanks bouli.

i have an empanada on my shoe!

OH NO!

hahah.

back to the normality here.

oh what a week.

it seems to be creeping along now.

that is horrible.

stop the threats.

stop the gossip.

stop the plague.

on this floor.

don't try to talk to me.

because you make it worse.

i'll hideout.

in the coffee house.

with the old jerry's.

and the fireplace.

with the big fluffy arm chairs.

it's obviously my new hang out.

there's no doubt about that.

a simple charge.

is all it costs.

i can't say no to that.

i think what you say.

really shows how different we are.

your conservative. non-pacifist.

you don't understand the world around you.

but i'm stuck.

because i don't belong in your camp.

and certainly not in the camp here either.

i need a definition.

i look back on all i've done for you.

and wonder if it will ever be appreciated.

or reciprocated for that manner.

you say no.

i believe it.

still.

i go back.

and i can't stand your idiocy.

what were you thinking?

why did you think this would work out?

you got screwed over.

i'm sorry.

but it's not like none of us didn't see it coming.

i can easily point out my own flaws.

but it's getting easier to point out yours too.

what does that mean?

Your undivided attention please

so.

it's been a whirlwind.

in and of itself.

let's dress up.

pin the hair.

bounce the curls.

leave the excess behind.

spread the blush.

and the shadow.

and let's put on a show.

of a gown.

not to mention some killer shoes.

texas ball.

how lovely to see you again!

yeah, right.

denzel surprise.

haha.

so many rooms.

so many galas.

so many people twirling and whirling around.

look out the glass into the city.

and wonder at the harbor.

it's a new day.

and a new wave.

go with the crowds.

down a few blocks.

and feel the power.

the great inspiration surrounding.

the words resound throughout the air.

and the beauty of this cold day.

we have a new president.

i hope you are proud.

i know that i am.

wave goodbye to the old.

and shed a tear for the new.

let's rejoice.

and let it all come to peace.

and justice.

outdress, outbitch, outdo.

hah.

you heard me right.

get over yourself.

and your little shallow lives.

could you join the rest of us?

in understanding what's happening.

thanks.

i think your ideas are dull.

and i'll call my own banal.

i love how much i make things up.

just this and that.

it's pretty awesome.

oh drown my sorrows.

in food.

and shoes.

and walking.

why do i always get such horrible service?

my crown of curls.

hah. i love it.

you, on the other hand, disgust me.

with all your little escapades.

how FANTASTIC!!!

SUPER!!! almost.

psh.

whatever.

love you.

yeah let's jump up this wall.

hah.

way too much indulgence.

in the bad.

in the good.

or i guess bad turned good.

what is it of your problem.

what makes me happy.

i think it's not.

i smell like your cologne.

which is strange.

because it's impossible.

i have so many problems with what it is you do.

be where you are.

or can you?

i'm beginning to think you can't handle it.

that's okay too.

but admit it to yourself.

all of it is fair game.

for the rest of us.

and make no mistake.

i will take advantage.

i'm not sure how i feel.

about these situations.

it's too different now.

to make judgment.

meanwhile.

back in mundane.

SNUGGIE!

hahahaah.

i look forward to the warmth bitches!

want to do something?

alright.

i've managed to calm.

a bit.

must get my own footing.

not placed on anyone else.

i wonder how long it will take you to respond.

its been 3 days now.

and you live 50 feet away.

how quaint.

surprises.

and overdraws.

who knows what's going to happen with that.

bored.

with repetition.

and that's the majority of this semester.

oh well its "required".

will i even make it through all the years?

who knows?

i see you have been around.

but i would rather you not try to reach me.

i've too many lists to count.

maybe i am a little anal retentive.

but idk how else to live.

i think i'll take my cues from the old master.

and do the best that i can.

for now anyway.

okay so it's no secret.

the old batteries haven't been charged lately.

or not fully anyway.

after a few hours.

you can just count me out.

so many things running around the halls.

i wish i were there

enjoying the world with you.

but alas i am not.

and i won't be for quite some time.

but it's not too far away.

there have been some added disappointments.

but the main point is still there.

lurking around.

i've not been hit too hard.

it's all pretty manageable.

or it should be.

unfortunately it hasn't been.

to my dismay.

i do need something.

i think tomorrow i shall champion something.

for myself.

better get on the ball.

in every way.

i see the lights.

before you start getting in the way.

i'd rather live to get you out of the way.

perhaps i ought to work on that.

ice shall come.

so will the snow.

winter weather forecasting.

how contagious.

i enjoy the nobodies.

i don't care for the boo's.

it's not very caring.

i think i shall keep watching.

i've been flicking around far too long.

sell the books.

keep the change.

and buy more.

love, becca.

a great big pink faux pas.

sleep.

dream.

nervous.

cry.

for the billionth time this week.

depression.

for sure.

leave the books.

in their place.

for the time being.

drop.

or stay.

it's my choice i suppose.

grocery love.

figure out the difference.

between you and anything.

old movies.

ghosts if you will.

it's a lot of work.

i'll survive.

disappointment.

it always is constant.

not exactly delightful.

sorry for the morning disturbance.

it really is a shame.

that i've been hidden.

in this web.

when i would rather just be attached.

to it.

cat on a plane.

yes.

its true.

back to school.

yay?

maybe.

hopefully.

already problems with the courses.

why???

stupid access.

i shall not let it stop me.

okay well change the sheets.

after the walk in the rain.

and make yourself available.

although not necessarily presentable.

i like your little texts.

trying to make me feel bad.

but they really don't.

i will awake again tomorrow.

bye bye!

you are just full of little slogans!

how cute.

you are just SO nice.

yeah right.

you need a different person.

to blame your shit on.

i dont know what you think.

when you talk.

but it's all stupid to me.

enough about you.

leaving the old SA town.

i'll be back soon enough though.

thank goodness.

school and work.

hopefully i'll pull it off again.

yay!

the scars are still on my skin.

i wonder if they will ever go away.

i almost forgot about the new clothes.

don't wanna do that.

better finish the packing.

and stop by the ATM.

because theres nothing left to do.

except say goodbye.

for now.

i love the RED!

well lets see.

it's something i would rather say in another language.

or would just be able to telepathically communicate.

but neither of those is particularly possible.

so i'll keep just sitting in silence.

until i break...eventually.

or you do.

i'll um be careful in the meantime.

not to step on any toes.

i guess it's inevitable in time.

it's a go?

new catchphrase?

nice.

one.

that's all you have.

just you.

yourself.

let's figure that out.

happy new year.

may it be a good one.