climb under the bed.

so it was another year passed.

a lot has changed.

kinda would have wanted your notation.

but you didn't give it.

i guess i got what i always wanted.

thats kinda pathetic.

i hate that you made me feel bad.

i can't handle it.

i want some oj.

and a nice home.

perfect vase.

the flowers beautiful.

i think you are the best.

the pictures keep slipping.

and you think i'm going to just let it fall.

im too ocd for that sort of thing.

i'm not in any danger.

i haven't found myself in before.

i don't think you understand.

my mindset and options.

you really need to open your mind up a bit.

i think it would be good.

for us both.

addressing the many you's.

you are really great.

all of you are in your own ways.

let's look at the positive.

i can't help but do so.

at the moment.

let's not let it cloud my judgement.

alrighty then.

thanks for the well wishes.

you have jelly on your knee!

as if that weren't enough.

your not the type for this sort of thing.

and you know it.

worse so does everyone else.

yeah bitchy behavior.

sorry about that one.

it just kinda slipped out unfortunately.

i don't believe it to be a good thing.

but there it is.

trip to the target.

it was less than thrilling.

although it was target at the least.

fixation on presentability.

and failure.

because that's just how life goes.

tomorrow is my birthday.

and for once.

i wish you wouldn't all make such a fuss.

just leave me be.

i've already spent it with my closest.

not to be rude.

it's just not the same.

bars fluctuating.

i put an x in there i dont know why.

such a mistake that is.

the shadow seems to have changed.

and you got replaced.

uninvited if you will.

your fashion leaves something to be desired.

its like a persona of someone else.

such a bad taste.

love the sarcasm.

out of my mouth.

sorry it is my nature.

we are in a room.

and yet we will not say a word.

thanks for that.

its refreshing.

to all the talking.

please stay out of my business.

stop analyzing my status.

stop teasing me.

i don't care for it.

and i still want to like you.

your way isn't better.

it's simply a different approach.

to the one i've chosen.

so heres how it goes.

sedated.

surprisingly much so.

trips around the city.

setting everything in a place.

new introductions.

and surprising new connection.

floating.

alone in a corner.

but trying to work my way through.

i'll win em over with food.

shopping.

packages expected.

in multitudes.

i am excited.

i'm liable to be broke.

class notes and long lectures.

falling down.

healing cuts.

red lights.

well lets focus.

for real this time.

lets really focus.

accessibility.

and communication.

you are awesome.

and i can't help

but love you.

same old some and dance.

ooh. isn't this lovely?

i don't think you quite estimate it.

weigh the right/left.

i think i'll stick with my decision.

others seem to think its good.

how do you see the future?

truth is im jealous of your clarity.

etched into the ceiling.

dancing on the cement.

peace of nature.

its a marvelous idea.

pack everything up again.

oh its a lot of baggage.

more so in a literal sense.

anxiety about the days ahead.

i think i really need to get this to work for me.

oh well.

look forward.

and accept the side.

get it all together.

you can't really complain about the journey.

it's way too much.

i love how utterly predictable you are.

it's just ridiculous.

you hate my style.

that's okay.

i didn't ask anyway.

i miss you already.

the complication of giblet.

oh.

closed off.

in the zone of whats in front of me.

not paying attention to you.

i really don't want to.

hill among mountains.

sweat the little things.

oh yeah.

i can't believe this happened.

what were we thinking?

get over the whole thing.

i can't.

well not now anyway.

vein maneuver.

is it the thought?

i guess it is.

a startling reflection.

zip you buttons.

and clasp your zipper.

you know you want a life like this.

zero.

compared to your surge.

i hate this.

thats for the apologies.

and the allocation.

bye.

don't put me with the rest.

so your like crazy.

oh, i am too. i know.

but i admit it.

i've not been in your world.

you never gave me the keys.

hah. it seems like its running together.

all this talk.

and visits.

long hours of waiting.

imaginary friends.

apparently you whisper to them.

just go all out.

and paint me some flowers.

lilac liquid.

girls night out.

pink lush walls.

the loft feel.

an end.

ice cream and cigarettes.

can you beat that?

mysterious signs.

through the windows.

laughter fits.

oh scotty indeed doesn't know.

LOL.

the list of new.

and old.

food joy.

i wish it were a one time thing.

hah. i pick at everything in sight.

i didn't mean to DNAEIL!

i wish i were like hannah.

you can be meghan.

cause she's a bitch.

and so are you in your subconscious.

NASTIA! olympic shine.

drive around.

the fresh paint.

and lighting.

sleep it off.

light the match.

and wait for the electricity.

you are so the melrose...

of your dreams.

oh jesus. what a week.

lets say what we haven't.

and get it all out.

there was a reason this stuff wasn't said.

i think i'm scared of you.

or being without you rather.

goodbyes.

they are so depressing.

i can't handle a long pause.

i'm just going to say adios.

and there we all go.

to our respective paths.

the lone cow.

with the skinny trees.

it seems symbolic.

of nothing in particular.

perhaps the small things.

im focusing on.

resentment.

and a hole in my side.

maybe just an ulcer.

nightmares.

and very early mornings.

just thoughts running around up there.

lets go on a trip.

oh, i just want to go home.

homeSICK.

why would you think any different?

museums dreams.

cold levels.

i'm not sure which i am on.

oh well.

turquoise beauty.

i love the attention.

lonely in the streets.

just dead.

once again.

its for the best.

you dont understand me.

back to the past.

its like the same stop every trip.

i dont really have much to say about it.

going back to the casa.

too many detours.

the pigeons have gotten fat.

yeah my small talk sucks.

ready to go.

i guess.

jumpstart ahead.

i just want to go.

i hate this feeling.

multiple feelings.

it would be okay to have just one of them.

but thats too much to ask for i suppose.

tears.

i'm spinning in the headspace that i currently reside in.

i dont know why.

well yes i do.

i expected this all to happen.

i should have prepared better.

surprising news.

just dont want to deal.

i want to be with you.

but it cant be that way.

drifting away.

its not the worst thing thats happened.

mail away the negativity.

im not going to respond to it.

i dont know what to say.

i think i will just tell a joke.

i hope you know how much i count on you.

although i feel bad for that.

self sufficiency.

i just cant do it.

but then again i think i can.

apparently not.

i need help.

im not really sure where to go.

what to say.

who to say it to.

you know everything about me.

if you put it all together.

not just one person.

i guess thats why we tell older people our secrets.

by the time we die they are already dead.

a mourning thought.

i cant imagine.

what you would think.

love.

independence.

care.

is it too much to ask?

where's my chicken?

oh the way you make me feel.

you really turn me on.

and off...

but that really wasn't in the song.

too bad its part of the whole reality.

your not going to get too much positivity here today.

but it was a few hours of life.

i love the mac and cheese.

and the great comfort.

don't forget the calamari.

because i sure wont.

baggage on the table.

open for anyone to see.

its a shame.

fins of sorts.

lets go onward.

look at the waterfall.

i wish i could get in there as well.

the water quotient.

to the gmas.

we didn't make cookies.

i never thought we would.

bernard and i make inappropriate comments.

during the flicks.

haha they piss shar off so much.

but i think she secretly enjoys it.

lovely musicale.

flash. of lights.

tunes blaring.

speedometer racing.

air through the windows.

close your eyes and just embrace the time.

to yourself.

okay ill stop closing my eyes on the highway.

new additions.

of course there will be messages.

didn't i call that.

read the words.

feel the knife.

dim sum mornings.

i enjoy the mini goods.

cleaning out.

new modes.

and rigid schedule.

you really have much to learn.

about the whole thing.

my skinniest outfit.

nice morning.

evening of revelations.

for someone else.

hah.

i love bernard.

dream about joe?

weird. i think you need to change tunes.

wipe out the conservative.

yes it is quite my forte.

in that aspect anyway.

have i abandoned you?

i hope you dont feel that way.

red walk of power.

blue spritz of lovely.

i'm late for work.

oh well.

not like they can fire me now.

new format.

perhaps something a little more creative.

yes yes i think so.

lets represent the personality.

a little better.

with the words and covering.

all around like a tree.

i'm not making sense.

i know.

but up where it matters i get it.

death.

how depressing.

a reminder of the whole thing.

i don't want to think about it.

i must be figure out whats going where.

maybe you can come help me.

i'm going to miss you.

yes, bernard. i will miss you immensely.

and no dad is mad at you.

p.s. true life is awesome.

manzana love.

the circles.

of imagination.

or mood.

so you say.

i don't really think you get.

yourself.

or me. for that matter.

tough days.

steamy fog.

oh lovely.

how predictable.

i dont think so.

pitch in with the authoritative hand.

speak your mind.

and stand the ground.

its wonder.

and joy.

and spontaneity.

i will not be asked back.

and that is okay.

your a little flirtatious this evening.

how refreshing.

to see you alive.

and not so bogged.

you've seemingly given up everything.

that you once dreamed of.

but i guess you found something worth it.

i dont know if i would be comfortable there.

but i'm happy for you.

if your happy.

i don't know why i listen to you.

its clearly not good for me.

to hear what you have to say.

i don't care to question.

constantly...anyway.

a little while longer.

home is becoming scarce.

i will miss bernard.

and his laugh.

and all his irreverence.

i saw a guy at marble slab that looked like you.

and i missed you already.

thanks for the end of the season.

it certainly was entertaining.

we bought the cat on sale.

we're all waiting for your next move.

or at least i am.

so many things.

swirling above.

of course.

its like driving around.

with nothing but vibration.

and sound.

i don't mind leaving you.

behind on the course.

it's not my business.

to encourage anything different.

i don't believe you would want it.

any different.

falling and quite defeated.

you've not a clue.

abominable snowmen.

rehearse the speech.

although its not very convincing.

i got much enjoyment out of it anyway.

its the little red house.

at the end of the street.

oh yes it is.

too early.

just want to spend some time.

around the vicinity.

not really in the mood for anything else.

sure.

i don't think you understand.

what all i can acquire.

its quite uninspired.

isn't it?

not like the old days.

only words.

no thought.

i don't want you to know.

i think it should stop.

it was a long time coming.

sail around.

with the vibrations.

and noise.

just different company.