that girl

i don't want to be.

the crazy one.

the dramatic one.

the loser one.

the fat one.

the ugly one.

the insane one.

the one everyone has to look out for.

the one you worry about.

the one you don't care about.

the stupid one.

the other one.

the lonely one.

the pretentious one.

the submissive one.

i'm tired of those.

why can't i be who i want to be?

why can't you just stop telling me how to live my life?

and let me live it.

you say nobody's stopping me.

but you are.

in the smallest of ways even.

i bother what you'll think.

i've grown tougher.

more callous.

more uncaring.

more cruel.

more condescending.

more detached.

more of the other one.

and what has it done.

made me worse.

made me better.

i doubt the latter.

and can't help but see the previous.

eaten up.

eat or be eaten.

that's how i see it now.

and i just want to be there.

in the element.

of what is good.

and maybe a little bad.

but nothing like whats become lately.

she's unrecognizable.

the outside and the inside are two separate entities.

skin of a snake.

insides of a slaughtered lamb.